This post is being revamped and will be re-introduced in the coming week. Sorry for any inconvenience and thank you for reading.
"Know your enemy" they say and I have to agree with that statement because knowledge IS power. And so with that in mind I joined the Tea party for 24 hours and immersed myself in that alien culture to better understand it. I was so tangled within that culture that I lost track of my own self. It was a worthwhile pursuit as I now have a sense of what they are really all about. I was able to cut through the rhetoric and dogma and now I present to you my readers, a honest and open example of the thoughts and motivations that move these people and cause them to do what it is that they do. I became one with them and will channel them for you. And so here it is in the words of the Tea party, an explanation of what they are, what they are doing and why:
HONESTY: What fucking good is honesty when you are trying to get something done? If people know what you are trying to achieve and they don't agree with you they can try and stop you. Lying is an essential tool, hell its the God-damned cornerstone of the whole son of a bitchin movement. Here are some examples:
We are protesters, but we don't call ourselves that. We use that term AGAINST those who oppose us, we also call them hippies even though we know there are no more hippies.
We want to have dominion over all others but we cant achieve that by calling ourselves dictators, we call ourselves poor victims.
We are whining until we get our way, but we don't admit that. It would make us look weak and whiny. We like to think that we are immensely strong and formidable as a movement, we cant be though because we have almost no unity. So we lie to create a false image of toughness.
We know that the opposition supports a fair capitalist system and so we call them communists, were not sure exactly what communism is, but we know its supposed to be a bad word because we remember somebody years ago saying it was a bad thing for some reason or other.
RELIGION, ETHICS AND MORALITY: Religion and such is all freaking complicated and stuff, what the hell? That is part of why we love men like Paul Ryan, we have learned so much from that big eared goofball. Ryan jumps and down and talks about the Bible and being Catholic all day and night long, yet the Catholic Church from Nuns on the Bus to the American Council of Bishops all denounce us. That was a valuable lesson ol Dumbo from Janesville taught us. Say your very religious really loud all the time and sooner or later folks may just get tired of arguing with you and say "yeah your a good God fearing man"
That's the key right there people! And then even though your opposed to that religion you can them represent it - falsely but who cares? [See HONESTY] Our religion is whatever we make up to support our goal which is a nice and simple one that we can understand "All we want is ALL THAT WE WANT!" And that just happens to be everything.
And since religion these days is wrapped up in helping people out and reducing suffering and other crap like that, we call ourselves the "old time religion crowd" because we do like that old time religion. Back in the good old days when like the Pope and stuff would lay a bunch of broads and make his biggest, meanest son the next Pope, back when the Popes were all drinking and fighting and running official church whorehouses and bars - now that's religion a man can enjoy.
Yup we figured out that if you lie and call yourself religious that them peace loving hippy retards will be all nice and take you at your word. All that Old Testament fighting and fucking your own daughters is what sounds good to us. Yeah I know the Old Testament is just a bunch of 'jewboy' stuff but it sure is cool.
What about the New Testament you may ask? With Jesus running all over hell and back with no damned money and doing good deeds....fuck that pussy faggot long haired piece of shit! The Tea party has one word to describe what would happen if Jesus were to come back to Earth "RE-CRUCIFIXION"
TAXES: When I look at my paycheck stub I can not find any real difference between my gross and my net under HUSSEIN Obama [See Women and Minorities and Summary]
SOCIAL SAFETY NETS: This one is easy, I don't want to be taxed at all, I should keep all of my money because I feel I do not receive fair compensation for the labor I produce. Why should somebody with a union job make more than me? I should be paid more but you wont see me organizing and demanding my rights, people making more money than me piss me off. The only logical conclusion is that we all deserve to make less. I have dreams for my children, and they do not include my fugging kids showing me up [See Love of Family] by rising higher than their old man. Of course we don't need roads and schools and infrastructure. I have a four wheel drive truck and I don't need no stinking roads to get around! Roads are for God-less commies!
WOMEN AND MINORITIES: I am very adamant on this point, the Tea party is NOT RACIST! We don't hate anybody because of the color of their skin. Skin color is just a useful tool to alienate people who try to get in the way of me taking anything that I want. I am NOT discriminating against any other male or dude because of skin color, I am discriminating because I don't want no competition from anybody and the more people I can alienate the less competition I have.
Also we are not homophobic as them libtards keep suggesting we is, once again they are easy to isolate because they are different and I cant stand competition. What bugs me about "lesbo-sexuals" is them uppity cunts don't like dick and I just ain't comferteble with the thoughts that occasionally come into my head while I'm pulling one off or having a wet dream. Dang me I love that Scott Walker and all he does. And on the subject of fags and dykes, we aint gainst them either, as long as they are self-loathing like that guy Tim Russell that Scott Walker hired.
And as for women .......well first I just want to say they are prone not only to 'infections' which is why they shouldn't be in the military, but also hysteria...that one psycho doctor Freud proved that years ago I mean c'mon. As a strong and proud tea party male I can tell you about women's equality "they're all pink inside" and that's all you need to know.
THE CONSTITUTION OF THE UNITED STATES: This here be easy cause the Constitution says that all Americans are equal and crap like that under the law. WE ARE AGAINST IT! Equality means that there aint no stacked deck in my favor and I want all that I want. Equality is fuggin commernism! [See Honesty]
PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA: [See Women and Minorities] Some entitled guy with an edercation once said that the definition of an asshole is "somebody who wont believe what they see with there own eyes" well I tell you what, I don't believe that legal birth certificate of his. I knows I am legal cause my momma said so, and that should carry all the weight [See Honesty] you need.
WEALTH: This is the Alpha ....AND Omega right here now boy howdy. This is what it is all about plain and simple and you libfaggians better believe it. The party exists because each and every one of us wants everything for ourselves and fuck all of you's who think otherwise. Especially double fuck you if you belong to the Tea party! You should know its all about every man for himself.
EDUCATION: Like I said we lie like there is no tomorrow and the last thing we need is somebody proving us wrong with all those "facts and figures (huh that's funny, figures rhymes with niggers)" making the whole darn movement look bad.
FAMILY & FRIENDS AND NEIGHBORS: On the subject of neighbors there are two options that we offer them; "be with us or against us." Family is equally easy, my woman is my property [See Women and Minorities] and that means subservience. Like it used to say and will once again if I can do anyting about it, a wife cant be raped by her husband and children must submit (or be forced to either mentally or physically) to whatever I say they should do, whether doin chores or just lying there and taking it while shutting the fug up! The Bible backs that up to y'all, and the parts of the Bible which contradicts them parts is all lyin! [See Honesty, also Morality and Religion]
ECOLOGY AND THE ENVIRONMENT : Stewards of the Earth that Bible says, and to me steward means do any damn thing you want. Remember the Tea party is all about taking what you want at any cost and screw you if you didn't get yours. I know this is more Old Testament but you know what? What I said about Sonny Boy Jesus applies to him too, if we weren't supposed to do any damn thing we pleased we shouldn't have been made in the first place, huh! outsmarted God right there.
SUMMARY: There is one and only one thing that makes the Tea party, makes you want to join the Tea party or support the Tea party. That would be the ability to think with common sense and survival skills and put yourself ahead of everything else. Aint that what that Darwin guy said? Don't get me wrong though I hates science. Kind of like education and honesty it gets in the way of what the Tea party is all about - taking any damn thing you want and being greedy. Now I know I am stupid and incompetent and that I will never be one of them milly-billynaires, but I still like to think that somehow it is possible. And if the impossible becomes possible than I want the deck stacked my way because if I ever gets all rich and stuff I wants to be able to look down and spit on people. I don't want no rules or laws or darn right and wrong things holding me back. I know the odds are against me but remember...........we don't believe in mathematics.
I am the Tea party and I am tired of feeling bad about myself just because philosophy and religion and decency and common sense are supposed to tell me that I am wrong, I saw a movie once that said that 'greed is good' and I aim to base my life on that.
People like to compare us to Nazi's just because everything we do is based on how the Nazi's came to power. And I would like to say the hell with you for calling us Nazis, that is just unfair because all that science and media gets in the way of our achieving our goal of getting everything we want. Besides we in the Tea party ARE based on the core of the Nazi party. We hate a fair fight and we want everything without having to work for it. We want to take from everyone else and if the corporations are other powers that tell us what to do take everyth ing from us then we will just whine even more and pretend that we never supported them honestly cause we was frauded. If being stupid and greedy and immoral is wrong well then you just call us wrong and it wont matter none at all, we only listen to FOX News.